BONDO FEVER 5/14/96

 

It’s hotter than hell
‘cause hell’s got no traffic
the weather’s just brutal
and my attempt to be frugal
has turned into one monstrous project.
‘Course what else do you expect
from the Slick One’s race car?
It was painted and beautiful
until St. George put deep scars
across the front of the shiny red racer.
Not wanting to waste her
I decided NOW was the time to repaint
and as I’ve waded into the fray
I’m discovering myriad new ways
of both creating and solving problems.
In my typical fashion
I’ve heaped an extra size ration
of innovation and changes
into this metamorphosis paint job.
Might as well do the fenders
so out come the benders
for the J -metal and lath
to pile on the fiberglass and matte
and bondo in gallons.

Randy was sweet
he said think how the meek
would never embark on such a mission.
Maybe they’re smarter
with a more limited vision
pay someone else to do it
but NO, Dick’s gotta intuit
this and that and more again.
So, it’s looking more like a Pro Mod
as I’ve rounded the bod
the T-bird looks sleek
braced in areas once weak
lowered the wheel wells a sneak
actually more like 6 inches or so.
I’m rubbing the car
after all, that’s 99 percent of the game
I’m filling and sanding
until my elbows go lame
but I gotta make the baby shiny and sleek.
I knew it would take
way more than a week
and I’m into a month at this point
so  I’ll be lucky to anoint
the project with primer
by the time Las Vegas comes up.
I’ve learned a great deal
about what it takes to earn a cup
learned some interesting techniques
there’s still more to do
a few more innovations to sneak
into the yet-to-be-made recesses
in the front of the car:
I want working headlights, like lasers
a cooling system for my face
so I can see the Christmas tree
without looking like I’m spaced
while shaking my head frantically to cut the fog.
It’s tough to cut a light
when I look like Parkinson’s at night
so the fan and cooler are a must
just like the lift and the lights, 
I hope and I trust
it will be a rewarding and ingenious solution
to cutting good lights.
Meanwhile, at night
I grind and mix and rub
polishing the CIFCA toy
so that soon, this alcohol-powered tub
can turn some heads again.

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