Funny Car Updates #8
1/19/98

QWIK-DIK SUPPORTER AND FRIEND:

As a cost and time-cutting measure, this year's newsletters will be photocopied  two-sided (but your envelopes are still custom-printed!).  

As the holidays charged through, there was a lot of inertia, just no momentum.

GARAGE
John Force got his 7th championship, and may expand his already large 30,000 square foot facility. My proposed 1100 square foot garage is still sitting idle, although the City inspector did come by just to see why nothing is happening. I spun the groans and moans of race car unfinancing, and he understood perfectly. He'll revisit in April to hopefully see some progress.

ENGINES
The engines FINALLY left Barrington after JUST a year. Sounds like an echo, huh? They are now at Sissell's Automotive getting extra head bolt holes drilled. While assembling two motors would be great, and would take up a lot less space than they do spread out, Barrington was providing the world's greatest bargain on storage. He FINALLY did the final honing (after I brought him a piston to determine the size), so now Mike Kirby at Sissell's gets to baby sit the blocks and heads, while I hound him to complete.

TRANSMISSIONS
If you recall, money was allocated to go to Mike's Transmissions for a Godzilla-glide. Those $ went into the yellow pages, too, along with the foundation $ for the garage. There's going to be a lot of reasons the car will be yellow, not the least of which is that I'm getting really pissed at the delays........ Incidentally, Mike Halstead showed up with a first run of the new 400% tougher input shaft (it only took Mike Stewart a year to get one). The tougher glide will require yet more beefed up parts (gears, etc.). These are NOT available at this writing. It MAY happen that many things may work out right on time (money, engineering/development, sponsorship funding, parts, etc.).

REV LIMITER
The limiter apparently works perfectly, since I haven't scattered an engine since I bought it! The fact that I haven't HAD an engine running since August 96 may also have been helpful.

DUALLY
The replacement dually motor still sits, with its fresh innards, new cam, proper manifold, on its pretty little stand in the garage. The dually DOES have a wonderful new paint job. Looks brand new! 
I went with the original apple red Chevrolet color, although it appears brighter than I remember it. The trailer plugs, etc. are all reconnected and just itching for an opportunity to do something connected with racing.

GENERATORS and AC
Randy Laur ended up inheriting his dad's nearly almost-new 4000 watt Onan (his dad offed his motor home), so I have MY nifty 4000-watt Onan package with gas tank on a trolley available for $1400, and the more quick and dirty 4400-watt Generac model for $300. The 26000 BTU air conditioning unit has been patiently waiting outside my garage to play on the trailer. Nice, nice air conditioner, good, good boy.

DRIVER COOLING
El Ninio may require that I get the Parker Pumper cooling system just to drive around! I haven't squeezed in a factory tour as yet.

THOSE *#@!?* TIRES
I've been tempted to take the Makita grinder to more than just the wheel wells (people and places, actually). I'm on the verge of making the last ditch trimming effort to utilize the 36" tires. There was obviously no need to visit Etchells again this year at the Winston Select Finals for more tires! Dave McDannel has purchased another member's car (Bob Wallace's multo-primo Camaro), and may get me a set of tires in trade for mine.
 

CREW and PROMOTION
Notwithstanding Bob Barnes commendable and relentless hounding, I haven't copied nor distributed the promo packet. It's that pesky mortgage that keeps getting in the way of things! Bob's changed aerospace companies, and may end up being THE sponsor on the car if things continue at this rate.

SELLING OFF
Randy Laur and I are BOTH in a state of critical oversupply (TRANSLATION: SELL OF THE EXCESS JUNK!). Most of what needs to go is NOT junk, but how much can a guy have? Don't ask John Force that question.

OTHER AND UNRELATED NEWS
My mom turned 84 (!!!!) in October. Wow! She gives old age a good name. I'd like to feel half as good at 53 as she looks at 30 years more. I'm working on getting her to come with me to the Winternationals (she went 2 years ago and loved it).

Randy Laur is DOWN to 9 (yes, the decimal is correct) vehicles. 
Want to feel bad? Check out his fleet:
Dually, Isuzu Rodeo, 48 Anglia with blown small block, 50 Hillman altered with injected small block, 62 VW bug convertible, 28' trailer, '93 Probe funnycar, 
an LS-7 big blocked '66 Nova (for his girl friend), and a 65 Chevelle that he's assembling as a daily driver with a ZZ-4 roller cam small block. His 87 Ford Ranger truck just sold, bringing it DOWN to a paltry 9 in his stable. 
He ALSO has a blown in-line six, a big block, and God knows what other myriad of parts. Anyone out there need ANYTHING? He's probably got two of 'em!

A QUICK (INFORMATIONAL) STORY
A pilot was lost as he approached the fogged-in Seattle airport in a 12-passenger commuter plane. He circled a large blue building closer and closer until he saw a man at the building's window. He cut his engine momentarily and yelled out to him "Where am I? On the next pass around the building man yelled back, "You're in an airplane." The pilot immediately turned east, dove into the fog bank, and came through the soup 3 minutes later right over the runway.
A passenger asked him after landing how he found his way. The pilot said once he got the completely and scientifically accurate but totally useless information from the man at the window, he realized he was over the Microsoft Help Line building, and knew the runway was 5 miles due east. 

SO WHAT'S THAT GOT TO DO WITH THE PRICE OF PISTONS?
Since I bought my race car in May of 94, I have been given a LOT of useless information, and paid hefty prices for all of it. I have taken this hiatus to completely rebuild both the car and my attitude towards it. While I've done everything as good as I possibly can, my best has depended on people who were often ill-informed. You buy ill, you get ill. And I'm just SICK at many points. I've been broadening my experience base (approaching the size of the Geza pyramid), and rethinking the entire process. Everyone wants to be the ruby capstone at the top of the pyramid, but since racing is 99% rubbing and 1% running, I've released myself to the process. And as the finances became inversely available in about that ratio, my "release" was well-timed!!
On the practical side, Dave "CHP" McDannel sold his Funnycar roller, and while looking for his newer ride he offed a lot of stuff in his garage the other day (to ME), to raise money. I scored on 2 sets of rods and pistons, a serviceable 4.25" COLA crank, and myriad other parts and goodies. I now have enough parts to complete BOTH 542" motors!! Boys and girls, this is exciting. Went to Barrington, who welcomed the final payment on his year of storage and block-boring. Not all is good: some brazing on the Mendoza heads fell out of one exhaust port. 
I HATE when that happens. More schlepping. Turns out it's absolutely a nothing deal, according the master head-massager Mike Kirby. Nice to have a positive word for a change.

NOW WHAT?
The Dave crank gets to be Magnafluxed at Tommy Lee's, and then sent to Memphis for grinding and hard-chroming back to standard on the #2 main. The rotating assemblies may need balancing, too, depending on the weights of the new rods. Then, secure a couple of sets of 4.505" rings and bearing sets and gaskets from Childs and Albert or Total Seal, and start assembling the rotating assemblies' parts. From there, some grinding and filing must be done to the blocks to receive the MAJOR-buck Titan oil pump (which has been safely in its box for about 18 months waiting for something to copiously lubricate). 
What else? Oh yes, the trailer awning got torn about a foot at each end during the gale winds recently, so that must be taken down and placed with Van Nuys Awning for some stitching and reinforcement, and reinstalled.
The 6500-watt Onan needs to be permanently installed and the cabinetry built around it to keep it quiet and cool inside the trailer. I've been procrastinating for about 2 years on committing to an under- the-bench tool tray/storage setup (why procrastinate today about things that I can wait until tomorrow to procrastinate about?). Found it, want it, and I'll buy it for my own belated Christmas present (maybe Valentine's). My cabinet maker ASSURES me he will FINALLY get around to completing my shelves and miscellaneous cabinet items after more than a year and a half of similar promises. There will be no lack of happiness based on the long gestation period of anticipation.
And, oh yes, the garage. I will take a New Year's bonus and invest MOST of it in the garage footings, slab, and initial framing (or I'll NEVER get started!). It will NOT get me through the framing or roofing stage, but it will get me started, and that's vital.
Hey, how about some paint? How about it? The how is completing the frame work first, getting tires that fit (UGH!), welding up some aluminum components in the tin department (at Rich Manchen's around the corner), THEN getting the body painted. It might also be helpful to get at least a block and heads in the car with the headers on to verify the body header cutouts now fit the tall deck motors.

PRE-DICK-TION
I am humbly suggesting (no more solid predictions) that the car will be functional about June. This will require quite a bit of tenacity, perspiration, inspiration, inhalation, exhalation, flagellation, conversation, co-operation, income generation, and spending limitation. 

SPONSORS
All of which maintains that awesome opportunity for the SPONSOR of our dreams to capitalize on the fruits of our labors and get on the 200 MPH rolling billboard and trailer. 
Can you imagine how much I'll plug real sponsors after this much ink (and a $100K investment) inviting them??
 

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