Funny Car Updates #23 11/03/00-12/01/00
11/3/00
Spoke with Roy Fjastad at Full Bore this morning, and he’s willing to cut us the long deal on their neato fasteners. I just need to measure once more to see which lengths I need.

You may recall I mentioned the maddening double-edged contradiction with my work: when it’s busy I have no time to spend on the car, when it’s slow there’s no money, hence I have to be out bidding. Well, it’s about to be slow. Inasmuch as I’ve retained Gary Barnbaum to help restructure the business, one thing I may be doing is getting OUT of the office a little more. As Millie is back east tending to her ill mom, I may also have the possibility now to get out in the garage and do SOMETHING.
Sadly, Milllie’s mom appears about to join her deceased husband at any moment. Millie and her sister are back in Ohio with her, and hopefully this chapter will end quickly and peacefully. The sibling relationship is not without its own friction, so I’m hoping deeply that it all goes as well as possible.
Out here in na-na land, we have two small jobs lined up for the beginning of the week.

11/6/00
Millie’s mom passed at 4 AM Sunday morning, so while sad, it was quick and ended the suffering for all.
Mikey came over late yesterday, and we worked productively until 10 PM on the wiring. We simplified a lot of runs, eliminated some, completed the shifting trigger wire, remade the 12-volt run to the fuse box, checked the light bar for function, wired the shift module, connected the trans brake, and made some heartening progress. In talking with Capt Randy yesterday, I thought running two trans brake buttons in parallel might be fun. I have the one of the steering wheel, of course, but the beautiful Precision Products shifter has one built in as well. I’ll be calling Brad Ochampaugh there this morning to ask about that possibility.
The body is floating back up in the rafters, and looks cool up there. Sorta like the Rock Racing Café in Vegas, only 10,000 times smaller and a few hundred cars thinner.
Son Brian tortured my quads again yesterday on a monster mountain bike ride. It sure felt good in the spa afterwards!! Naturally, my box of riding paraphernalia can’t be found: gloves, gel seat, pants, shin guards, etc.
Anything that makes getting into that fire suit a little easier is welcome in the long run. Haven’t heard from Cool Suit as yet regarding our order for our two suits. No hurry in any event.
I am going to call Parker Pumper today and order a driver ventilation unit, as we’re at that point of needing to set brackets to install it. The switching and wiring are in place, so no big, hopefully. I will need a couple of new batteries, as my poor Optimas are certainly long dead at this point. I’ll give them a charge just for drill, but after 6 years, with 4 of it just sitting, should pretty much have destroyed them.
What HAS definitely gotten destroyed is a bunch of junk sitting along my side yard for some time now. Wood, metal, brackets, etc. TONS of potential value with NO momentum, but certainly TONS of useless inertia. The amount of money and time and effort spent moving it around in the hopes of one day making use of it has FAR outweighed its usefulness, and so it’s in the truck and off to the dump. It’s actually a fascinating thing: after 15 minutes, the momentum takes over and stuff goes flying out. But that first quarter hour is brutal. Sorta like mountain bike riding.  Sorta like trying to get crap done on the FC.

As we are about to induct a new president, a review of some amazing coincidences with JFK might be interesting. Have a history teacher explain this ---- If they can.
Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.  John F Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
The names Lincoln and Kennedy each contain seven letters.
Both were particularly concerned with civil rights. Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.
Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's secretary was named Lincoln.
Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808. Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908. John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839. Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939. Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.
Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford.'
Kennedy was shot in a car called 'Lincoln.'
Booth ran from the theater and was caught in a
warehouse.
Oswald ran from a warehouse and was caught in a theater. Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials. And here's the kicker.
A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland.
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was in Marilyn Monroe.

The following are the top four winners of a Most Embarrassing Moments Contest in the "New Woman Magazine"...

1.  While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok.  I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now", she would be punished.  To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!"
The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.  Even the tellers stopped what they were doing.  I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter.

2. It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was living at home, but my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we heard the telephone ring  downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend that I give her a piggyback ride to the phone.  Since we didn't want to miss the call, we didn't have time to get dressed. When we got to the bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on and a whole crowd of people yelled, "SURPRISE!!!" My entire family, aunts, uncles, Grandparents, cousins and all my friends were standing there. My girlfriend and I were frozen in a state of shock and embarrassment for
what seemed like an eternity.  Since then, no one in my family has planned a surprise party again...

3. One of the funniest "most-embarrassing-moment" stories was about a lady who picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for all the store to hear, "PRICE CHECK ON LANE 13, TAMPAX, SUPERSIZE."
That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word "tampax" for  "THUMBTACKS."  In a business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom.  "DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER???"

4. A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was
squirming around, scratching his crotch and not paying attention. She went back to find out what was going on.  He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy.  The teacher told him go down to the principal's office, he was to phone his mother, and ask her what he should do about it.  He did it and he returned to the classroom, where he sat down in his seat.
Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room.  She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out.  "I thought I told you to call your mom." she screamed. "I did," he said, "And she told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and pick me up from school."

11/7/00
This is somewhat my feeling from time to time about the Qwik Dick Funnycar. Just keep sticking it out and one day it’ll be functional again. As we’ve made some certifiable progress lately, I should be encouraged. And, I am. I just need some MONEY to make this thing complete. Notwithstanding the lack of the dough, I’m going to give the garage a bit of a hit tonight and attempt to move some tools into place, clean up a lot of indecision in there, and get a little more control of the situation. Outside, I’ve decided to go another couple of feet to the existing west fence for the exterior storage slab off the driveway. Since I am precluded by code from constructing any fencing in the front yard over 3-1/2 feet high, I’ll just make use of the existing and legal 6’ high wood fence, and widen the slab accordingly. This has required saying bye-bye to 4 or 5 trees in that area, but so be it. There is no view to block that direction anyway, so it’s not much of an eyesore or downgrade. Ultimately, I’ll build back out from the fence with an enclosure. For now, it’ll just have to stay open. Tiny Ed Anctil gave me a good thought about using the one side with sufficient overhang to store things. I took it further and I’ll build the side walls with deep lumber and make the wall itself the storage system. Too many things, not enough places.
As Full Bore is a fairly local company, I should be able to get those Dzus fasteners next day. So we can get the windows pretty close to done, and get on with a few other items.



If you remember from earlier updates, there remains:

Trailer work:
Remounting the awning and some of its hardware and controls
Setting the Coleman generator back in the trailer and hooking it up
Mounting the re-purchased compressor
Getting the 220-volt AC actually working. Should be just a plug in deal
Buffing the trailer up and repairing the 4 years of construction material scratches
Emptying out the organ pipes (this is BIG)

And on the race car:
Setting the pump and mag back in
Setting the injector hat and barrel valve
Drilling and tapping the manifold for the blower pressure gauge
Putting two additional bars in the roll cage (not required over 7.50 ET, but a good idea)
Cleaning the underside of the body with the pressure washer
Spraying zolotone on the underside of the body
Painting the outside, and the tin around the driver
Buffing up a lot of the aluminum parts
Finding/buying the missing right front brake line
Finishing the fire system plumbing
Cutting down the driveshaft (an axle, actually) about 3/4” to allow using double coupling retainers at the rear as well
Remounting all the tin
Remaking some tin
Wiring up the shifter trans brake in parallel to the existing one on the steering wheel
Putting new seals in the fuel tank
Cleaning the fuel lines and assembling them all
FIRING IT UP!!

Once we make some laps, should money be available, we’ll pull the whole damn car apart and buff it to the bone. As it is, just getting it down the track and painted is our realistic goal for now.
Timetable? Well, if the Aruba match race becomes a reality, then all this will HAVE to happen before April.
As Randy and I are running BBC engines and Powerglides, my spare engine and trans could be a good thing to take.
You know how I’ve reiterated dozens of times the need and opportunity for sponsors. Well NOW is REALLY a prime time for someone to get on board. Really.
A hit of motivation from Pomona will be welcome. Let’s see what gets done in the week after this Nitro Weekend. Bible Bob stopped in needing a burnout picture for something a connection of his is printing. I’m unclear how my FC figures in this, but I’ll be anxious to see what it is soon (it’s going to the printer today). BB says he’ll be available for some crewing in a couple of weeks.

11/13/00
There may be another BB in the crew. My wizardly glass etcher, Richard Baida, brought his daughter Brooke to Pomona on Saturday, and this little 18-year old not only dug the girls driving, but claims she aspires to drive a race car, and appears VERY motivated to be on the team. We’ll be talking this week.
Spoke with Gary Densham and I’ll be calling him about possibly working a deal on his somewhat battered Firebird body for about $2500. Really just a thought at this point, as I don’t have the money.
Took a great mt. bike ride with Brian and Mike, and handled some amazing terrain. On the asphalt return road back to where we parked the truck, I hit a pothole and went over the handle bars. Gotta love it! Road rash on the City streets. That’s like crashing the race car pulling it back to the trailer.

The 2 major party presidential candidates today agreed that Americans are seeing too much inappropriate material in popular entertainment.
However, they disagreed on the details.
The Republican candidate, George W. Bush, stated there is too much blood and violence in the movies and on television.
Vice President Al Gore, his democratic opponent, stated meanwhile that the media presents Americans with too much sex and frontal nudity.
In other words, Bush says there is too much gore and Gore says there is too much bush.

Here’s a situation that would probably keep Bush in the first grade:
A first grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students.
The teacher asked, "Johnny what is your problem?"
Johnny answered, "I'm too smart for the first grade. My sister is in the third grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third grade, too!"
The teacher had had enough. She took Johnny to the principal's office.
While Johnny waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was.
The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first grade and behave. The teacher agreed.
Johnny was brought in and the conditions are explained to him and he agrees to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?" Johnny: "9".
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?" Johnny: "36".
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third
grader should know. The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, "I think Johnny can go to the third grade."
The teacher says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions?"
The principal and Johnny both agree.
The teacher asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"
Johnny, after a moment, "Legs."
Teacher: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Johnny replied, "Pockets."
Teacher: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Johnny: "Pants"
Teacher: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of excitement?"
Johnny: "Firetruck"
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher,
"Put Johnny in the fifth grade, I missed the last four questions myself."

Capt Randy is on his way over this afternoon to chew the fat (for this we are both WELL equipped). I’m finally about to call Full Bore for the Dzus fasteners.

11/15/00
Saw Mike at All Aircraft Parts, who also owns a nasty 10-second blown BBC powered 55 Chevy wagon, for sale at $18K.
I got some different Dzus fasteners from him : .600, 800, and .900 long, along with my own oddball .700 long (which works perfectly in the windshield corners).
Son Mikey is over right now, and we’re going outside to try these and see what works.
I’ve reprinted the to-do list for the race car, and we’re going to see if we can click off some items soon.
And, I’ve got to get in touch with the new BB.
I’ll still probably get the Full Bore .550 gold-colored fasteners, but I do need some odd ones, too.

11/16/00
I have done some serious soul-searching, and I'm allowing myself to pursue a line of thought which, while repulsive, is as follows:

I am completely unable to move forward, I'm WAY broke.
I'm trying to find a way to get rid of the Condor, Gremlin, work truck, and SC and get one car, and just screw the rest of this crap.

I see three scenarios for the Condor:
1-Finish as planned, about $6-$7K
2-Throw the original six back in, perhaps $2-$3K
3-Off it all for parts and raise maybe $2-$3K.

Gremlin
I'm tired of chasing parts all over the net.
I'm taking it in Saturday and Nick will do whatever he must to repair doing metal-working. I’ll run ads in Dragster, AutoBuys, etc., and continue the Cruise Nights to try and move it out.

Work truck
As it has become just another piece of equipment that gets defiled by workers, and hence another $ drain,
I'm considering selling it to one my guys. Let HIM do the maintenance, and I'll use the dually if I have to for my own construction tasks.

SC
Off it for maybe $5-$6K, and put all the above funds toward a PT Cruiser, and get off this hampster wheel.
If I just keep the SC, then I’ll be WAY farther ahead, with possibly some $ for the FC. Now THERE’S a thought!!

One thing that DEFINITELY needs doing is the gas line to the new rooftop air-conditioner (and heater). NO heat, and it’s in the high 30’s outside, high 50’s inside. Manny, my untrusty plumber, has failed to show ALL week to do this. Hey, I’m a contractor, and I COULD do it myself. It’s just I have a business to run. AND, I’ve had no idea he wouldn’t show this long. Randy used to work for the gas company, and fears I may be at the point of meter overload. It’s a no-cost thing to get a larger unit, but at this point I just don’t know what the physics are about the gas flow and what we have. I’ll get some calcs tomorrow and run it by my trusty gas company. They most certainly should know.

11/17/00
Time did not permit the gas company inquiry. I did make some progress, I sold the work truck today to Ed Anctil for $5500. No questions asked, Bingo! Gone. So now he owes me about $5K, and I can look forward to a lesser nut to crack for a while.
I put ads for the Condor and Gremlin in Dragster by e-mail. It takes at least 16 days to get to publication. So it looks like the Dec 7 or 14 issue should have them in. I also put an ad for the blown Super Coupe engine complete. And, I threw a Gremlin ad in the Daily News today for a week. The Gremlin goes over to Nick’s tomorrow. So we’re making some progress.
Fellow LeTip member and chiropractor Bob Patterson is now free to be a crew member. I talked with Richard, dad of BB (Brooke Baida), and they are going to Speed Zone tomorrow to get a taste of racing. He says she is very interested in getting to work on the FC. This is GOOD!!
The direction on the Condor PROBABLY will be to sell the remians of the 420” motor to Eddie Moran for a little under a grand. Basically, a complete motor minus the heads. Roller rockers, pushrods, cam, block, rotating assembly, pan. Needs a new oil pump and distributor, and I have a carburetor, too!! And Ed has some heads. Perfect deal for him!!
I can then turn the 89 Tbird into a smog legal car again, and off it as a driver to someone, or keep it as a spare (NO!!!!). Anyway, that’s the direction I’m going.
This should be a WAY less complicated approach, WAY cheaper, and from this vantage point, more logical. I PRAY that going retro on the Bird will be fairly painless.
At this point the script calls for a BIG sigh……..

11/18/00
A day later and I feel VERY good about the NEW plan. As Eddie Moran remains interested in the Windsor, I feel OK. Frankly, even without HIS interest, I’ll just set an ad in Dragster for the motor and move on. The question now is: Which SC do I keep? I’m inclined to stay with the Condor as it will have the sound system. But then again, the 90 has less miles, a VERY fresh motor, much better paint and body. I MIGHT switch out the trans to the majorly stout and fresh AutoRite AOD, with wide ratio gears.
So perhaps I’ll take what I can of the sounds out of the Condor and transplant, and punt the 89 down field.
The Gremlin is at Nick’s and I’m still hunting for parts.
One thing I probably should do is replace the heater core in the Condor, just in case. Sitting for a long time may not have agreed with it, and with the motor out it is MUCH easier.

Speaking of making life easier, this is what The Dalai Lama has to say on the millennium. All it takes is a few seconds to read and think about. Feel free to copy this and send it to your friends.
Instructions for Life in the new millennium from the Dalai Lama:

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
2. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
3. Follow the three Rs: Respect for self; Respect for others; and
Responsibility for all your actions.
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
7. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
8. Spend some time alone every day.
9. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back,  you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.
14. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.
15. Be gentle with the earth.
16. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.
17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

11/19/00
Mikey and I just did a bit of work on the fire system. I find I can’t get my super-trick flaring tool to flare the SUPER hard steel lines I’m using for the fire system.  It may be user error. I’ll do some research tomorrow and check it out. BB (Brooke Baida) is coming over tomorrow in the AM to get her first taste of the operation. One thing DOES occur whenever ANYONE shows up to work on the FC: I MAKE things happen. It forces me into action, forces decisions. Right now the BIG decisions concern how to clean up the garage! There is just so much STUFF to put away, make place for. Mikey synthesized a fix for one of the cabinet doors, and that has helped make us of that space now. So that might be a good starting place. There is just a load of little crap that needs tossing: misc hoses (done), bolts, parts, odds and end. I’m heaping them into catch-all container for now, to sort later (here BB…).
As the Condor takes shape into its retro self, a lot of stuff here can leave. I need to get a commitment from Eddie Moran on the 420” Windsor, and if he falters, I’ll just get an ad in Dragster and the Recycler and get moving on this area of cluttering value.

11/20/00
BB showed, and I explained about 20 minutes of the operation and some details. Then I sat her in the seat of the car, and let her ask all the questions she wanted. She had LOTS. We schored a few loose items, pulled the windows out of the car (SO easy now with the Dzus), dropped the chassis down and rolled it out. Tanner or someone had butchered one body dolly, which I repaired pronto with the wire welder. We cleaned out the garage a bit, picked up a lot of junk, and rolled everything back in, ready to put it out tomorrow and get water blasting under the body.
Like my dad used to say in his music business, “Just show up.”

11/21/00
And BB did show up again, on schedule. What a delight!! We rolled the chassis and body out again, rolled out the pressure washer, wrapped her up in a slick suit and goggles, and she did a fine job. We now see where some oil and grime are still buried in the fiberglass, and I need to construct a HIGH-boy dolly system to enable her to walk around under the car. I’ll finagle something tomorrow with my trusty welder, and BB’s scheduled to come on Sunday along with Mikey to continue on. We cleaned the garage a bit more, cleaned the driveway, cleaned the chassis, too. So, SOME measurable progress. I will look to get the hat and fuel lines on before Sunday as well. And, I’ve got to have Randy show me how the heck to do the flaring on those TOUGH fire system lines.  And I did order the full-bore Dzus this morning.

No luck -- There was this guy who really took care of his body. He lifted weights and jogged 6 miles every day. One
morning he looked in the mirror and admired his body and noticed that he was suntanned all over with the one exception of his penis, which readily decided to do something about. He went to the beach, completely undressed, buried himself in the sand, except for his penis which he left sticking out. Two little old ladies were trolling along the beach, one using a cane. Upon seeing the thing sticking out to the sand she began to move it around with her cane, remarking to the other little old lady saying "There really is no justice in the world." The other little old lady said "what do you mean by that"... The first little old lady said " Look at that... when I was 20....I was curious about it…… when I was 30.... I enjoyed it. …. when I was 40....I asked for it…… when I was 50....I paid for it…. when I was 60....I prayed for it….. when I was 70....I forgot about it. And now that I am 80 the damn things are growing wild, and I’m too old to squat!

As a tennis player, I can really appreciate the following:
Elbow -- One day, a man complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor." His friend said, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store. Just put in a sample of your urine, and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what to do.
So he does, and some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper which read: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor. It will be better in two weeks.

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this computer could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and urine samples from his wife and daughter.
To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went
back to the drug store, located the computer, poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00.

The machine again made the usual noises, flashed lights, and printed out the following analysis: Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife I pregnant.......twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And...if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.

Now where’s this machine when I need some FC diagnosis on the tune up??

11/24/00
Randy is working a 3-day marathon shift, and I’m intending to run by today with my HARD sample of brake line/fire system tubing and see if it’s user error or if it’s just too tough for my flaring tool. Gene at AutoRite says he has a Snap-On unit, and I’m welcome to try that.
Today is bike ride day with the boys. Oh boy!!!
Also, going to puts ads in the AutoTrader for the Gremlin and Condor. Not a single call from the Daily News ad for the Gremlin. Never make THAT mistake again.

11/25/00
Got word that the Gremlin fender is waiting for my check to arrive to hit the mails coming here.
Mikey and BB are scheduled for tomorrow.
Got some work done on raising the body dollies to about 5’ high. Nice to get some welding practice. Some bubble gum, some actual beads. They’re done. Randy was unavailable for fire system line flaring. Will go to Don’s Auto parts tomorrow and see if they can make it happen.
Checked in with the CIFCA chatboard and guestbook, and there is a LOT going on there. My new goal is to make the Hangover Nationals at LACR/Palmdale on New Year’s Day, unpainted.

11/27/00
Finished the fire system. Man, it takes some serious time bending tubing and flaring! Came out nice, all done, nearly invisible. Next on the agenda is to do a little more grinding on the underside. BB and Mikey did a fine job cleaning it yesterday, and the high-boy dollies worked fine. I ground through a thin spotl so some fiberglass work is in order. We found a few partially loose body mounting plates, so we’ll do a little glass work to tighten it up a bit. BB’s punctuality has made a BIG difference in getting momentum.
So in reviewing my last update on the web, and looking over the list of stuff to do, really what’s up right now is:

Set the Lexan when the Full Bore Dzus fasteners arrive tomorrow
Get a few odd length Dzus at All Aircraft Parts from Mike
Get Mike Peery (different guy) over here to weld the two roll bar uprights within 12” of the front junctions. He’ll then take my unused TIG welder home as full payment for his balance with the prior Lifeguard Tower contractor who stiffed him. This is a very long story I won’t complete here right now.
Weld the tabs for the Parker Pumper driver air supply
Oh yeah, BUY the Parker Pumper
Set the mag and fuel pump back on
Clean out the fuel lines and tank
Pull off the blower and drill the rear of the intake manifold for the blower pressure gauge
Install the blower, injector hat, barrel valve
Install the throttle and fuel pump shutoff cables
Remount the chutes
Finish bolting the wing on
Refill the differential with fluid
Find the missing right front brake line
Bleed the brakes
Spray the underside of the body with Zolotone
Bolt on the heads
LIGHT IT UP!!

All that being done, I’ll have to clean out the trailer to make room for the car.  But one item at a time. See why a crew is SO helpful?? Once the car is together, it really is VERY perfunctory (barring explosions) to keep the thing maintained. Getting there is altogether different.
Stayed tuned.

As for the Gore/Bush debacle:

Bush/Gore through the poets
In olden times, it could be decades before major events were cast in verse. But The Great 2000 Election Controversy is so big that a bunch of all-star poets have come out of retirement to  quickly set the story to rhyme.

For starters, history buff Henry Wadsworth Longfellow:
Listen, my children, don't dare ignore,
The midnight actions of Bush and Gore
In early November, the year ought-ought,
Hard to believe the mess they wrought.
Two billion bucks of campaign bounty
All came down to Palm Beach County.
What result could have been horrider
Than the situation we found in Florider?

Edgar Allen Poe is his usual gloomy self:
Once upon a campaign dreary,
one which left us weak and weary
O'er many a quaint and curious promise of political lore,
While we nodded, nearly napping,
suddenly there came a yapping,
As of some votes overlapping, energy-zapping to the core .
"'Tis a mess here," we all muttered,
as the network anchors stuttered,
Stuttered over Bush and Gore.
Could there be another election
with such a case of misdirection,
One with such a weak selection,
yet fraught with tension to the core?
Quoth the ravers, "Nevermore."

Britain's Edward Lear's limerick is lighter:
There once was a U.S. election
That called for some expert detection -
How thousands of pollers
Could become two-holers
Like outhouses of recollection.


Ditto Ogden Nash:
I regret to admit that all my knowledge
Is what I learned at Electoral College
So tell me please, though I hate to troublya,
Will the winner be Al, or will it be Dubya?

Joyce Kilmer's a media analyst:
I thought that I would never see
The networks all so up a tree.

Walt Whitman is lyrical, as always:
O' Captain! My Captain! Our fearful trip's not done
The ship has weather'd every rack,
but nobody knows who's won.

Alfred Noyes rhythmically rumbles:
And still of an autumn night they say, with the
White House on the line,
When the campaign's a ghostly galleon and both
candidates cry, "'Tis mine!"
When the road is a ribbon of ballots, all within easy reach,
A highwayman comes riding,
Riding, Riding,
A highwayman comes riding, and punches two holes in each.

Dr. Seuss takes a look at election officials:
I cannot count them in a box
I cannot count them with a fox
I cannot count them by computer
I will not with a Roto-Rooter
I cannot count them card-by-card
I will not 'cause it's way too hard
I cannot count them on my fingers
I will not while suspicion lingers.
I'll leave the country in a jam -
I can't count ballots, Sam-I-Am.


Clement Moore adopts a holiday theme:
'Twas the month before Christmas,
when all through the courts,
All the plaintiffs made stirring bad ballot reports.
Which leaves the problem:
Perhaps the best way to stop complaints that are raucous is
Start over again, with the Iowa caucuses

There are actually a FEW more little things to do than the above listing:
We gotta paint the back on the Lexan around the opening collars black so as to hide the Dzus connections.
And we have to fill a few holes here and there, including the one I ground through the side of the car.
There is the blower collar to pound into beauteous smoothness (along with some grinding).
I also have to install the flywheel shield, as this is NOT a Dedenbear case on the powerglide. The trans cover is in place, that’s good.
Oh, and we do have to remake the wheelie bars to bolt up on the rear rails at the top. I have tabs, a welder, and lack only some slip joints to make it happen
It might be nice to repack the wheel bearings in the front, too.
And.
An overall run through ALL the nuts and bolts on the car is definitely in order.

Anyway, the above should make for an action-packed December.

A LITTLE MORE OF THE BALLOT COUNTING, ACCORDING TO DR. SEUSS:

Can we count them with our nose?
Can we count them with our toes?
Should we count them with a band?
Should we count them all by hand?
If I do not like the count,
I will simply throw them out!
I will not let this vote count stand,
I do not like them, and AlGore I am!

Can we change these numbers here?
Can we change them, calm my fears?
What do you mean Dubya has won?
That is not fair! It ruins my fun!
Let's count them upside down this time
Let's count until the state is mine!
I will not let THIS vote count stand!
I do not like it, and AlGore I am!

I'm really ticked, I'm in a snit!
You have not heard the last of it!
I'll count the ballots one by one
And hold each up before the sun!
I'll count, recount, and count some more!
You'll grow to like this little chore!
I will not let this vote count stand!
I do not like it, and AlGore I am!

I won't leave office, stayin' here
I've glued my desk chair to my rear!
Tipper, Hillary, and Bubba too,
Are telling me that I should SUE!
"We find the Electoral College vile!
Recount the votes until WE smile!
We do not want this vote to stand!
We do not LIKE it, AlGore-I-am!"

How shall we count THIS ballot box?
Let's count it standing in our socks!
Shall we count this one in a tree?
And who shall count it, you or me?
We cannot, cannot count enough!
We must not stop, we must be tough!
I do not want this vote to stand!
I do not like it, and AlGore I am!

I've counted till my fingers bleed
and still can't fulfill my counting need.
I'll count the tiles on the floor
and even count the ones next door!
And I will not say I am done
until the counting says I've WON!
I will not let this vote count stand!
I do not like it, and AlGore I am!

What's that? What? What's that you say?
You think the current count should....STAY?????
You do not like my counting scheme?
It makes you tense? Gives you bad dreams?
Foolish folks, you're wrong, you'll see!
Your only care should be for ME!
I will not let this vote count stand!
I do not like it, and AlGore I am!

Actually, I applaud Gore for his tenacity, and I hope he prevails, as Bush scares the living heck out of me.
The LONG list of Bushisms previously published here echo my feelings exactly.
Of course, neither one is going to make a whole hill of beans difference to our racing efforts. I mean the Republicans aren’t going to pass any pork to sponsor our sport. And the Democrats will have nothing left in the budget-balancing for our sponsorship money, either.

11/28/00
Full Bore fasteners are THE only way to go!! Man, are they easy and cool to use. WOW! Thanks Roy! The windshield and side windows are in, and I lack only 3 oddball.600 long aircraft Dzus to finish it off. I see 2 or 3 places I might add some more fasteners to get the Lexan really flat. BB showed up again today (THANKS!), and dutifully steel-wooled the body tree. We decided not to roll the body out, as I wasn’t going to be here. Next time we’ll do a little more grinding, and meanwhile I’ll dig up some mat and glass resin to patch some loose areas. The body is REALLY clean down below. We have a nice system with the tall dollies, and during the season we’ll have a cool way to douche the underside easily. I’ll have to turn down the pressure washer or we’ll probably blow the paint off.

Speaking of off, here’s a little poem I just penned:

LETTING GO

Now just what does that mean?
I mean, is it like a scream
You know, just letting it all go?
Or is it like taking a huge sigh
Letting what has gone by
All sorts of good and bad gone past
Be over, at last?
Or perhaps, is it removing attachments
Attaining a degree of detachment
Parting with the strings of encumberment
Letting go of the potential mint
Of hoarding treasure stuffed in the garage?
Is it perhaps, sidestepping the barrage
Of situations, and people, and things
Relationships that sting
Whether they be human or otherwise?
Is it maybe just closing, then opening our eyes
Looking at the world anew
Realizing that less is more
And that to retain just the prized, the few
Really leaves MUCH more resource for enjoying?
Or could it be all of the above?
In sum the efficient employing
Of our VERY limited time and energy
Leaving space to create a synergy
Of quality relationships in our lives?

11/29/00
Can’t resist sharing yet another twist on the election debacle:

A Zimbabwe politician was quoted as saying that children should
study the US election event closely because it shows that election fraud is not only a third world phenomena.  To illustrate the point, he made the following comments:

"Imagine that we read of an election occurring anywhere in the third world in which the self-declared winner was the son of the former prime minister and that former prime minister was himself the former head of that nation's secret police (the CIA).

Imagine that the self-declared winner lost the popular vote but won based on some old colonial holdover from the nation's pre-democracy past (the electoral college).

Imagine that the self-declared winner's 'victory' turned on disputed votes cast in a province governed by his brother!

Imagine that the poorly drafted ballots of one district, a district
heavily favoring the self-declared winner's opponent, led thousands of voters to vote for the wrong candidate.

Imagine that members of that nation's most despised caste, fearing for their lives/livelihoods, turned out in record numbers to vote in near-universal opposition to the self-declared winner's candidacy.

Imagine that hundreds of members of that most-despised caste were intercepted on their way to the polls by state police operating under the authority of the self-declared winner's brother.

Imagine that six million people voted in the disputed province and that the self-declared winner's 'lead' was only 327 votes.  Fewer, certainly, than the vote counting machines' margin of error.

Imagine that the self-declared winner and his political party
opposed a more careful by-hand inspection and re-counting of the ballots in the disputed province or in its most hotly disputed
district.

Imagine that the self-declared winner, himself a governor of a major province, had the worst human rights record of any province in his nation and actually led the nation in executions.

Imagine that a major campaign promise of the self-declared winner was to appoint like-minded human rights violators to lifetime positions on the high court of that nation.

None of us would deem such an election to be representative of
anything other than the self-declared winner's will-to-power.  All of us, I imagine, would wearily turn the page thinking that it was another sad tale of pitiful pre- or anti-democracy peoples in some strange, faraway elsewhere."

11/30/00
You remember I said this was as much a daily diary of frustration as much as actual race car news, right? Well the major butthole, Jason, my hopefully soon to be ex-renter in the front room, APPEARS to be moving stuff out. However, tonight is the  last night of the month and he has not really loaded out. We’ll see if he really gets out. The new tenant, a girl whom he knows (not his girl friend), has already had her new phone line connected. Jason will NOT talk to me at all, so when he’s gone, it will be without comment. Naturally, he owes me about $800, and I’ve served him his summons for small claims court. Judge Judy has already contacted us both regarding hearing our case. He’d be a fool (something new?), not to go for it. The show pays everything. I was on People’s Court back around 87, and the woman who owed me the money made a righteous fool of herself, and I got paid, pronto. I’ve actually already been approached by Power of Attorney and Judge Joe Brown, but both declined some other cases (they don’t like to hear the word “drug” in these cases, and those idiots were definitely on drugs). I got paid on one, and have a judgement on the other.
Anyway, back to the FC. BB will be here again on
Sunday. I will score some spray can black enamel for the tree and frame touch-up painting, and do some additional research on Zolotone products. I’ll need some mat, glass resin, and some bondo to do the remainder of the smoothing, both tope and bottom.
Made significant progress on the exterior slab area, about 32 by 7, which amounts to widening my driveway from the garage to the street pretty much. There were HUGE amounts of dirt that had to be removed. Just the last 10’ took 10,000 pounds of dirt. I had brought all this in originally 11 years ago. Ah, so nice to stir the organic pot so to speak. I’ve regraded, backfilled, hand tamped, re-routed water and electrical lines, set forms, etc. It’s right there now to receive about 4 CY of concrete come Monday or so. Tiny ahs done a lot of the initial prep work, I’ve done some major dialing in, still literal tons of dirt being moved.
As $ are absolutely vacant right now, I’m just looking for things to be sold, tossed, etc. I’m doing whatever is possible on next to zero funds (RIGHT next to……).
Poverty is a recurring theme in the construction business around the holidays (but not only now). Remember I talked about having no time to work on the FC when busy, and no time when slow because I’m bidding frantically to get work? We’re on the latter phase right now. Actually, I HAVE made time for the FC, and that is good. I’m still committed to the Hangover Nationals on Jan 1. Really. We’re gong to give it everything humanly possible to run then.
Per collecting $, I’m going to call the BAR tomorrow to check on the ole slimeball, Dave Smith, who boned me on the Condor motor, and against whom I have a $5600 judgement (and growing daily with 10% annual interest). There are other judgements for $7K, Z$50K, etc., but they have also remained uncollectable. And I HAVE tried with numerous agencies over the years. What we need now is Guido…
Hey, IF I just had the money I earned, forget any plus stuff, I’d be in decent fiscal shape. Big word for only two letters……

12/1/00
IF my brakes only worked….Randy and I spent about 3 hours getting the right front wheel flexible stainless line and 90º bulkhead fitting from Orme Bros (thanks for the discount, Jim!!), and bleeding the brakes ‘till we were blue. There appears to be no air in the lines, yet the pedal just mushes right down to the bottom with little hope of stopping power. We ran nearly a quart through the system, and were using the old-fashioned method: he pumped, I sucked the lines. Delicious!!! I will call Wilwood Brakes on Monday and see if they have any suggestions. I doubt they service their master cylinder or calipers (after all, they are a manufacturer), but no guesses until Monday.
Found some fiberglass resin in a cabinet, still need the cloth and some hardener, plus some bondo. Hopefully D’Angelo will be open tomorrow.
Body Shop Nick called tonight, and offered to pay for my fender if I couldn’t get the dough together. Wow!!
My new renter showed up with $400 cash, so the fender will get its money order tomorrow, and at least that will get on the way.
Randy is very motivated to get working on his car now that he sees me making some progress. He may yet end up with his car in the Garage Mahal, as he was quite ticked off when his Valencia area garage host failed to show up, thus blowing his precious dedicated day to accomplish FC stuff. He spent a half day just cleaning and organizing. I REALLY need to get to that point here, as I find I’m still buying stuff I KNOW I have somewhere in the garage. AND, there is still stuff to pitch. I had really wanted the Garage Mahal to be a place of cleanliness and organization where the rebuild of the car could take place in a pleasureful, tasty atmosphere. As it is, it IS inside, it is huge, and there are numerous niceties, but it is still crowded, cluttered, and far from the organized environment I had predicted. Mind you, I do have the welder, the power, the winch, the sink, the dollies, the trailer (though packed), the air, the video surveillance and cameras. But there is a raft of stuff still to be filed (tools, junk, etc.), the saw to be moved outside to allow the dually inside, and the bolt crib to be completed.
The driveway widening is nearing completion. The forming, grading, base, etc. are all in, ready to receive the rebar and perimeter blocks. Ed and I are just flabbergasted at what this 32 by 7 area of dirt and trees has required to prepare it for concrete. This has been 2 weeks of work!! Literally tens of thousands of pounds of dirt, 6 tree stumps/roots jerked out by the dually, hundreds of feet of pipe and rebar, and a lot of art has been required. But it will cut down on the dust, provide additional parking, and give space to clear crap from the garage.
It all provides hope for the future smoothness of QWIKDICK RACING. Another thing that really gave me inspiration (besides Randy’s fabulous help), was the article in this month’s Hot Rod about the private drag strip in Arkansas. WOW!!! I GOTTTA go there this year! Man, what a treat to read about that.

 

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