When originally envisioned, the car was to have a cute
name:
QWIK DICK

At Sacramento in Sept of 94, after 12 runs on a fresh
$5000 Lambeck motor with internal problems and oil
leaking EVERY run, I just couldn’t bring myself to
calling it a LEAKY DICK, so I jokingly changed the name
to SLICK DICK

After bringing the car back and having to redo the roll
bar ANOTHER 3 times, spending another $10,000 on frame
and other lift system changes, I hoped maybe now it
would be a very TRICK DICK

I’d worked very hard to do things right from the
beginning, and it was beginning to feel like a HARD
DICK.

As a prophelactic measure, I changed the crank to a new
COLA forging at VHS, and got MUCH more trouble for the
effort, and it felt like a  SICK DICK.

Having to this point been taken for so many rides by
inept vendors, I thought maybe HICK DICK might be more
appropriate.

As I found myself into my 4th engine and still not
getting it repaired, I was getting discouraged and
thought it was a LICKED DICK.

Once I realized I had to do now a 5th engine and found
myself getting even more discouraged, I thought maybe it
would just be NIX DICK.

But a good 7.46/181 run and it felt like a KICKED DICK.

At the Hangover Nationals at Palmdale the last day of 95
the body lift system was inadvertently left un-pinned on
the return road, blew up and got ripped up and we limped
home, so Pete’s CIFCA banquet prediction came true: LIMP
DICK.

The tin was bent and torn loose, so we were thinking
about BENT DICK.

With some time to fix it over the winter, it looked
pretty good for 96, back to a STRAIGHT DICK

The 96 season has had its share of aggravating little
problems, like getting DQ’d two races in a row, once for
a hood latch malfunction, then a dead battery at the
starting line in the semis. It felt like someone was
trying to STICK DICK.

The bad luck continued with an input shaft breakage and
blower belt explosion in July at LACR and with bondo
flying, sort of a FLICKED DICK.

The fuel line was hit, and the blower opening collar was
hurt, not much damage, just a NICKED DICK.

Of course, the new theme of the car is that of a red or
yellow fire captain’s car with emergency lights and
flames, so it could become FLAMING DICK, FLASHING DICK,
RED HOT DICK, CAPTAIN DICK, YELLOW DICK, DICK’S DICK, or
really most accurately, DICKED DICK.

After a little over two years of rubbing heavily on the
car, it’s been a very MASSAGED DICK.

I’ve done a lot of body work on it, but I’m really
unqualified to apply paint, because after all this I’d
never want to have a DRIPPY DICK

It was fortunate the blower belt shredding occurred
before the new paint was applied, but it required yet
MORE fiberglass and bondo (16 gallons to date). As of
August 96, with a little body work left to do, the car
weighs about 2600 pounds at the line and is in reality
now a very THICK DICK.

If I go yellow color, the car might even turn to a taxi
cab theme, and I’ve considered having the slogan: “WE
CHARGE FOR DICK”.

So I guess that would make me a PROFESSIONAL DICK

What I really hope is that maybe one day it will finally
just be a FUNCTIONAL DICK